Somebody come fix her hair

Hair, hair, hair.

All the stinkin’ hair.

My hair is too straight.

Your hair is curly!

Why can’t I have curly hair?

Mom! I want a ponytail!

Cool. I specifically ask where she would like her ponytail placed. (She’s very specific).

*I pull her hair back to said specifications*

It’s crap.

She erratically rips out the hair tie, along with a few strands due to her ferocity.

We recover.

I ask again.

Now we have new specifications – pig tails.

I move forward with her hair.

Guess what?

She hates it. The tails touch her shoulders.

She rips those out.

So, I ask really slowly, articulating and enunciating every word and syllable.

Insert mental image:

New plan.

She wants a bun.

But, not just any bun – one that pulls the hair from the front of her face. But, not too much hair pulled back. Just the right amount.

Ok. I put her hair into the requested specifications.

Yep, you guessed it.

She hates it.

I took some pictures of it to show her all the angles she couldn’t see from the front view of a mirror.

I took a picture from the back so she could see the cute little bun I created with her shorter, fine hair.

Not that it super matters, but I also snagged a top of her head shot too.

Not gonna lie, it does look a little wonky from this angle.

She hates it.

All aspects.

Not enough hair pulled back.

The bun looks weird.

She hates her hair.

We recovered by looking at pictures of different styles she wants to try.

Then, when I said we are taking a hair break tonight and would reconvene tomorrow to attempt her saved hairstyles, she threw herself down, face first, on the couch.

Because everything is awful.

Just awful.

Someone come fix my kids hair.

Next morning update: we reconvened for that promised tomorrow hair:

I divided, twisted, and wrapped her hair in pig tail buns completely expecting her to rip them out like her hair was on fire.

Surprisingly, she loved them.

She kept them in for a couple of hours – which is a hair feat for this chick.

And, she looks pretty darn cute to boot.

But, seriously, someone come fix my kids hair, regularly.

Bueller?