I was reminded about the following incident when speaking to a friend about their fear of wasps.
As we were discussing, I said, “did I tell you about the time a wasp fell down my shirt and stung me in the boob?
*shocked face*
So, to all you readers – here is some hilarity for your day.
A few years ago, I was in a kids department training about safety and emergency protocols for our church.
While I was sitting, listening, and note taking, something falls down the top part of my dress.
Take note, I said dress.
It wasn’t a low cut dress, more like a v-neck variety.
Anyway, I had no idea what it could be so I take a look.
HOLY CRAP!
I am literally staring at a wasp down the front of my dress – take a guess where…
Yeah, there.
I jump up out of my seat and begin trying to swipe the wasp up out of my dress.
Thankfully, I had the wherewithal to move and turn from all the people.
So, as I am trying to diligently swipe a wasp out of my dress I am being stung.
To be honest, I couldn’t even feel it.
Probably because I was so completely freaked out.
But, listen, this stupid buggar would not leave.
And, because I am wearing a dress I couldn’t just lift up my clothes in hopes it would fall out.
By this point, Brent noticed something is legitimately wrong – probably because I am acting like a total weirdo.
I am so freaked out that when he gets to me, I lack the ability to even communicate the issue.
Finally, I loudly whisper “wasp”.
Y’all, the dude looks down my dress – but how else was he supposed to help me?
This plan is obviously not working, so I pull the middle of my dress outward, along with everything else and the wasp falls out.
Brent immediately stomps on the intruder.
By this time, the meeting halted and curious minds were gazing in my direction.
I quickly explain, then scurry into the church kitchen where I could gather myself.
While I am in there, a couple of ladies come to my rescue.
One lady offers me any essential oil from her go-bag.
I use essential oils regularly, so this was a godsend.
And, another finds a small refrigerated gatorade and shoves it down my top.
A few minutes pass and I’m slightly more calm so I take a look.
I have three stings on my chest.
Y’all, that crap hurt.
Never in my life have I been stung by a wasp, so I guess this dude wanted to come in swinging.
Sheesh.
Also, you see the information about the paper wasp?
It’s legit.
“Has no concept of personal space or social distancing”
100% true.
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