The object that shall not be named.

Y’all.

Brent and I celebrated our 13th Wedding Anniversary earlier this week.

We had plans to snag dinner Sunday night but our plans were derailed with 2 vomiting children, so we postponed.

On Monday, the no-longer vomiting children were feeling better, so we all ventured out to lunch at one of our favorite restaurants: Texas Roadhouse.

We park, unload and walk toward the restaurant entrance only to take notice of a very large, rainbow colored sucker in the shape of a specific male body part.

Yep.

You read that right.

A male body part.

Right there in the crosswalk of the parking lot.

Whatever image you have conjured up is probably right on the money.

Also, sorry about that.

Anyway, as we closed in on said object and in order to prevent curious questions, I quickened my stride.

*wipe forehead*

Crisis averted.

But, let us not forget the walk back to the van following lunch.

This time, Brent was leading the clan.

As he closes in on the object that shall not be named, he begins engaging in loud, rapid fire questions to Tempest.

“What’s that in the sky?”

*Tempest looks up*

“Look at the clouds!”

“Do you think it’s going to storm soon?”

“Wow, look at how fast the clouds are moving!”

“I think it’s going to rain. What do you think?”

Sprite is listening, though not entirely engaged, while Banshee and Torpedo are clueless.

Thank goodness.

But, Sprite does take notice of this item on the ground.

“Look away, please.”

“Why?”

“Please trust what I’m telling you and look away.”

Sprite replied, “Um…ok,” averted her gaze and followed it up with an audible sigh.

“What was that anyway?”

“It’s something really inappropriate and I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

*shrug* “Okay.”

Thankfully, she didn’t ask more questions, but we all know children never forget their questions.

So, now I wait for when she inquires again about the object that shall not be named.

Best future conversation ever.

And I already can’t even.