*Brent has approved this retelling
A few week ago Brent had a vasectomy.
If you read my previous posts, you know that this last pregnancy, labor and delivery, and post-partum recovery were hard.
So we made the decision to close out our childbearing season.
Because of timing, he was only able to snag an appointment on a Thursday morning, which happens to be our homeschool community morning.
So I asked a friend of mine if she’d pick up my kiddos and take them so they didn’t miss out and I could take Brent to the appointment.
And here’s how I asked:
“Hey, can you take the girls to homeschool group this coming Thursday? Brent is going to get his man parts chopped off.”
Many laughing emojis and veggie chopping gifs were sent back and forth, complete with ‘no problem’ response to help with transport.
Fast forward to the afternoon of the homeschool community day and my friend was driving them home.
Tempest was inquiring again about why our morning looked different, and in response my oldest said, “I know.”
When they arrive home, my friend shares Sprite’s response with me – but here’s the problem, we didn’t tell her about the procedure.
So I ask her, “how did you find out what a vasectomy is?”
“I dunno.”
“Well, I just want to make sure you understand what it means.”
“I already know.”
“How do you know?”
“Well, I read your text messages.”
*slight panic*
“What messages?”
“On your computer.”
(Context – she uses my Mac to write papers and its connected to my phone, so messages come through).
“I’m sorry, say what?”
“I read them.”
“Hold on, the messages that say your daddy was getting his man parts chopped off?”
*snickers* “yeah”
“Do you think that’s what your daddy did today?
*with uncertainty* “yeah”
“Honey!”
*at this point – my friend is standing in my eyesight and clamping her mouth shut trying not to laugh hysterically.*
“Sweetie, you Daddy did not get his man parts chopped off.”
“Oh.” then starts to walk away.
“No, no. It is really important for you to know what he did,.”
“No, that’s okay.”
“Um, no, this is really important.”
At this point, she is really uncomfortable, but I also didn’t want her going around thinking I just took her daddy to the chop shop.
So, while my friend is in my periphery trying not to double over laughing, I explain the entire process of a vasectomy complete with all the right words.
Cue absolute embarrassment for her and a ‘this is my life’ moment for me.
Y’all, she was walking around for like a week thinking her daddy was going to be castrated.
UNBELIEVEABLE.
I cannot even with the entire thing.
Be careful with your text messages, your curious readers are dangerous.
SMH.
lardcupcakes.com 