Breastfeeding Sucks

There, I said it.

And, you know I’m right.

I have breastfed 3 children, and am currently nursing my fourth. I promise I’m qualified to make such a statement.

So, why does breastfeeding suck?

Let’s start with the the first two weeks, if not longer, are absolutely horrific. No amount of lanolin or warm compresses can soften the adjustment your breasts have to make. You basically trade regular nipples for ones of steel. *shink shink*

I mean seriously, after breastfeeding, you’d be a champion candidate for a nipple piercing.

If you have multiple kids, you know what they like to do every time you sit down to nurse? They pull some crap and you have to decide whether to get up and battle it with a baby on your boob, or wait until said baby is finished and clean up the aftermath.

New crayon wall decor? Sure!

Self administered haircuts? Why not?

Overflowing toilet? Sounds great.

Also, for some, myself included, due to baby tummy issues, have to give up dairy for a while during the nursing phase.

I miss cheese.

And this👇 is not cheese.

Oh yeah, and when a baby cries, and it doesn’t even have to be yours, your breasts begin oozing milk and you sit there like a cow with drippy udders. No thanks.

On the topic of cows, let’s take a look at breast pumps – if you want to have a night out, a break, or return to work without messing with your milk supply, you’ll need access to one. So, take a seat, strap on the contraptions and get ready for it to pull on your nipples in the hope of extracting some breast milk.

Sounds like fun, right? Not.

Can you hear the faint sound of a breast pump?

Let’s not forget when your baby unexpectedly sleeps through the night. You wake up very full, so much so, you could literally pop your breasts and splatter your walls with breastmilk.

Clean up aisle 5!

And speaking of splatter: have you ever tried to hand express breastmilk? It’s like a freakin’ spray nozzle on a garden hose. Holy moly. Squeegee, please!

Despite everything I said prior, I am very grateful I’ve been able to breastfeed all of my kids, though it’s been a hard road.

Breastfeeding has brought me tears, pain, embarrassment, and consumed my time. But, in this process, I’ve gained determination, empowerment, strength, connections, and a desire to help others.

It takes the care and expertise of other moms and great lactation consultants to have a successful breastfeeding experience.

Basically, it takes a village.

If you need a village to help on your breastfeeding journey, come on over to mine. I’ve dealt and deal with Raynaud’s, vasospasm, oral ties (lip, tongue, and cheek), and many other issues. I’d love to help you.

One of the best lactation consultants I’ve worked with is Bonnie Logsdon, IBCLC. You can find her info here: https://www.thebabysvoice.com/

Also, I’d love to hear your crazy, funny, or emotional breastfeeding stories in the comments.